Thursday, December 15, 2016

Collateral Beauty - movie comments


This past weekend I had the opportunity to see an advance screening of the film Collateral Beauty through the Navy subase theater. I knew nothing about it besides what I’d seen in the trailer. Spoiler-free review: it’s a funny, touching, gut-wrenching movie about a man whose daughter died and the three people trying to help him. It doesn’t take its subject matter lightly, but it still manages to find the humor that comes naturally to so many people. It holds true to the message of the title: when something terrible happens, don’t forget to look at the collateral beauty. It doesn’t make what happened easy or happy or okay, but it’s there. Don’t ignore it.
I think this movie is one that doesn’t hand you anything. Plotwise, it could be a little confusing at times. Apart from the sentence that contains the title, none of the moral messages are explicitly stated- while most of the major characters make a clear declaration of what love, time, or death means to them, none of their words are presented as gospel truth. What you get out of it is whatever it makes you think about. For myself, seeing the topic on the big screen pushed me to revisit a piece of writing that I’d started but wasn’t satisfied with. It helped me think, even if I haven’t had any revelations. Do I fear death? Do I desire more time? Do I live like love matters?
Collateral Beauty is a good film for mature family audiences. It does involve the death of a young child- even though her suffering isn’t shown, that’s heavy content, and its toll is written clearly in Will Smith’s face in every scene. There is the type of language spoken by grieving, angry adults that earns it a PG-13 rating. Overall it can be a valuable thought provoker and discussion starter for teens and adults. Even in a busy time I'm glad I took a couple of hours out to see this.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

REPOST: Freedom

Here's something I wrote on my old blog almost three years ago. I made this new blog because I found some of my old posts very juvenile and cringe-worthy and wanted a new start, but some of it is still content I want to share. This definitely falls under the category of "musings". (Lightly edited from original text.)

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What it freedom, anyway? It's an abstract concept and it means so many different things to different people. Does it have to be just one of those things? Is there an objective standard of freedom, or can all people be free by acting out their personal ideas of freedom? Are you free as long as you believe you are?

I suppose the easiest way to define freedom is the ability to do what you want to do. But that definition has its failures too. Let me paint a picture for you.

Imagine a little boy lived with his parents in a big house. He was allowed total freedom to roam wherever he wished. He had everything he needed and wanted. The only rule was that there was one particular room he could never enter, or even open the door to it. What he couldn't possibly know was that (here's where it gets a little weird) it's some sort of crazy horrible room. Once you enter, you can never escape. Naturally, as a little boy, he'd be awfully curious as to what's behind that one forbidden door. But are his parents, with their knowledge of the dangers beyond the door, hindering or helping his freedom by keeping him out? It's true that one could say he doesn't have total freedom if he can't go into Every Single Room. But it's also true that allowing him into that room would take away his freedom to go into any of the others. So perhaps, part of freedom is being protected from making choices that would enslave us. Total freedom doesn't mean we can make ANY choice. It means being able to make good choices.

Just a random thought.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

LINK: The Spy Who Added Me on LinkedIn

Reposting this BloombergBusinessweek article (by Garrett Graff) for your enjoyment because it's hands-down one of the best things I've read. It's a medium-long read but simultaneously hilarious and intriguing- a look into the REAL spy world containing some very weird people.

LINK: The Spy Who Added Me on LinkedIn

Spoiler 1: It never actually says that anyone added anyone else on LinkedIn.

Spoiler 2: Contains just a little bit of censored strong language.

Spoiler 3: I love that the Russian spies were recorded complaining that their jobs weren't very James Bond-ish. #relatable

Spoiler 4: This article really highlights the patience of organizations based in less democratic countries. As Americans if we haven't gotten anywhere concrete after two years we're bored- we're halfway to the next president! No way would we just work a cover job for decades with no specific goal other than the potential to get something useful after building deep trust. Russia's old. Russia can wait. America's a baby country compared to Russia.

Spoiler 5: It was very nice of the FBI to take the guy's groceries home after arresting him.

Spoiler 6: My appreciation for journalism has just leapt tremendously. There are lots of boring journalists online, just like there are lots of boring novelists on Wattpad. Then there are excellent writers who include all the right details to drag you into their story. I know so much more about Wall Street and international espionage than I ever thought of before, and the entire time I read this account I could hardly believe it was all true. I promise this article is better than anything original I could have thrown together for you in an afternoon. Hope you enjoy the read!

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

As We Are

[This post is a rewriting of a five-minute impromptu speech I gave a couple of weeks ago. Although I don't consider it the best impromptu I've ever given, it was the most relevant, and I meant every word of it, so I'll share it here before the relevance decreases.]

"All this talk about equality. The only thing people really have in common is that they are all going to die." - Bob Dylan*

Inequality of people in different groups is one of the most common complaints in modern society. Especially in the midst of a remarkably contentious election season, almost everyone has some pet inequality that they vocally despise. We can argue all day over the existence, scope, and impact of certain inequalities and whether or not all people experience inequality equally. But it exists. It's real and it matters.

This is one thing people have in common: no matter who you are, you belong to a group that sometimes faces discrimination. If you are a woman and you ask for a raise, you are less likely to receive one than a male coworker asking for a raise. If you are a man calling a domestic abuse hotline, you are more likely to be turned away or told you're the aggressor than actually offered help. If you're a white student with good grades, you will receive less help getting into college than non-white students with similar grades (except for Asians). If you are a black person encountering a police officer, you are more likely to die in the following interaction than an equally or more dangerous white person.

There are ways to rationalize all of these inequalities, if you try hard. In comparing individual events, the differences may be completely justified. But the inequalities exist. They differ in scope, institutionalization, and severity- yet they are all wrong.

It is wrong for us to treat people differently based on their DNA because we all have the same beginning and end. We came into this world with nothing (Job 1:21) and will turn into dust when we die (Genesis 3:19). We have all failed in our duty to our Creator (Romans 3:23). Anything beyond that is mere details. We share the same origins, status, and destiny in the eyes of the One who made us. The only thing more ridiculous than our obsession with talking about inequality apart from any attempt to offer solutions is our insistence that certain groups are still fundamentally different from us. They're not. We're here, we're fallen, we're dying. No one can escape this.

It's foolishness to discriminate based on skin color, gender, wealth, attractiveness, or anything else because that's not how God sees us. In offering salvation He doesn't divide us the way we divide ourselves. "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28). We are one. We are equally hopeless without Him and equally loved as His children. He does not offer one kind of love to black men from low-income families and another kind of love to white women with outstanding volunteer records. Our identity as His children erases all the artificial categories we place ourselves into.

In less than a week, the votes will be cast and America will have its next president. I have heard of no one who looks favorably on both the candidates who have the best chance at winning the election. Most voters detest at least one major party candidate and view people voting for that person with at least some measure of distaste. It is hard to see people with whom you strongly disagree rising to positions of immense power. We cannot change the candidates who have won the primaries. What we can change, long past the time when this election is just a strange memory, is how we treat each other. See people as your brothers and sisters, as your neighbors, before latching on to every way they are different from you. Your neighbors are sometimes very wrong in their views. Sometimes you are wrong too. Their incorrectness, their appearance, and their background do not make them any less worthy of love, respect, life, safety, assistance, or wages for their work. Each one of your neighbors was made in the image of God and bears that dignity. By your witness they may come to know the grace that will sanctify them and reform them into that image. Our calling is not to compete to prove we are the most oppressed, but to fight injustice wherever we find it and honor all those we come into contact with, seeing them as God does. Our equals.



[*I gave the speech about a week after Bob Dylan was awarded the Nobel prize in literature. The person who selected the topics each speaker chose from used Dylan quotes for all of them.]

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Kitchen Sink


"are you searching for purpose?
then write something, yeah it might be worthless
then paint something then, it might be wordless
pointless curses, nonsense verses
you'll see purpose start to surface"
 I think a lot about the Twenty One Pilots logo, |-/. The singer/songwriter Tyler Joseph has explained that the whole point is in NOT sharing exactly what |-/ means to him. He can find his reason to continue living in the knowledge that once he is gone, there will be no one to explain what it means. Identifying that much and no more is his way of reminding others to create something uniquely theirs that no one will be able to replicate.

Each of us is a one-of-a-kind masterpiece created by God, and that is reason enough for each of us to be worthy of continued living, but sometimes we forget. Sometimes it takes more to convince us. Making something of our own can be our way of grasping the fact that we each have something to offer the world that no one else can.

I made my own symbol. I won't tell you what it means, only that it reminds me how I survive every trial. Go make your own.

Stay alive, friends.

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

When others know you best

I think we can all agree that building your life around nothing but others' expectations is exceedingly unhealthy. Trying to force yourself into a position that isn't something you're called to or even enjoy wears you down and steals your attention from areas where you could benefit others more effectively. It stunts growth.

But sometimes, when you know yourself and what you want fairly well, the things others comment on you doing well can guide you in directions you might not have realized alone. I've been maternal since I could walk (bringing smaller babies in the nursery their pacifiers when they cried) and a writer since I became literate (constantly making little books on single pieces of paper folded in half). That's what I'm good at, that's what I love doing, that's where I feel most like myself, that's my calling- I have to be a mother and I have to be a writer. Life without either of those would be empty. They're who I am. Neither makes much money, though.

It was several years ago that someone first suggested I could be a teacher. My aunt, whom I don't see very often, was visiting for a weekend. She saw my interactions with little kids at church and wondered aloud about me becoming a teacher. I told her no, because I already knew those first two callings, and I'd never thought of it.

That same Sunday, Parade magazine ran an article about what makes good teachers good. Many people shared stories about the teachers who changed their lives. It was kind of amazing to toy with the idea of being such a big influence on someone- the person who inspired them to love learning or gave them one bright spot in their day that helped turn their life around. The comment and the article on the same day put a little spark in me to consider being a teacher. It became a common fantasy: I'd imagine myself teaching an English or creative writing class and what I would tell my students. (Rule #1: I won't lower your grade for a preposition at the end of a sentence, because sometimes it sounds most natural that way, but I will draw it to your attention because it's something other teachers will care about.)

Throughout high school the sense that I could offer something as a teacher and find fulfillment in that role increased. I'm looking at colleges that offer both good writing programs and good teaching programs. I plan to apply to one school whose writing major I adore but that offers no education major. However, I have many misgivings about actually attending that school. For myself now, I don't see teaching just as the day job to support my writing. It remains a secondary passion to writing and motherhood, but I really, really want to be a teacher. I think I should be a teacher.

It was funny at the end of the summer realizing how many things would I had done that would set me up for impressing people with my education experience- especially given that I have no experience in an actual classroom as instructor OR student. But I spent a week volunteering in a Vacation Bible School art room, supervising a table's activities, serving as an authority figure to keep children in line, and also helping them by showing them how to use the supplies. I ended up doing a lot of babysitting for a girl I met there and her neighbor. And one of the things I worked on while providing child care was preparing for the debate coaching I'm now doing. I thought through what I want to teach and how to split up lessons and practice time to meet my students' needs. I was also researching what colleges were looking for on applications and realized I have so many qualifications to be accepted into a school to seek an education degree. I have four years of public speaking experience (will, unless providentially hindered, have five when I enter college). That experience includes speaking professionally in front of other people, research, analyzing literature, on-my-feet thinking, writing my own speeches, and carefully reviewing typed scripts for mistakes. On top of that I'm now getting experience as an instructor teaching others how to debate. Basically all my life I've interacted with younger people in a nurturing leadership role- children trust me. So much I've done throughout high school has set me up to be a teacher. The best part of this is that I didn't pick a single one of these activities to make my résumé look good. I did speech and debate, went to VBS, babysat, and agreed to be a debate coach simply because I wanted to. That more than anything else tells me I'm on the right track in my life and pursuing a true calling. All my unrelated interests just happen to line up to train me to excel in my ultimate career goal.

I still get those hints that others see me as a teacher. For a speaking/acting exercise, I had to play a preschool teacher. Multiple people immediately commented that that role was perfect for me. None of them know my college and career goals. They just know, Johanna is a teacher. It's who she is, even when she didn't think so in those terms. The lines between art, teaching, and childcare are very blurred in my life. All are how I want to leave a positive mark on this world long after I leave it.


Edit: I just found out that today happens to be World Teacher's Day. I had no idea.

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Set The Stars Free

On Sunday night I watched The Little Prince on Netflix with my family. I still haven't read the book (although I know I have to now!) but I was so caught up in the story. In the movie we meet the boss of boring grownups, who takes everything inessential and makes it essential. Watching a little girl crack open the dome under which he had trapped the stars, to bring beauty and delight back into the world of adult drudgery, put a single sentence in my mind: Be the girl who set the stars free.

I'd had some useful tasks planned for the evening, but I decided instead to work on something that as C.S. Lewis saidhas no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” I searched the house for the art supplies that have lain mostly untouched for years, curled down on my floor and made a painting on the back of an index card. I have very little practice putting watercolors onto paper, so it doesn't look quite how I pictured it, but I don't mind. The experience of making it was important. I'm going to display it somewhere I'll see it regularly so, as I push further into adulthood and write a résumé and do more boring adult stuff”, I'll remember to not let work become an obsession. I'll remember to not ignore beautiful things just because they aren't essential. They're still important.